Shopper at Walmart - m4w - 22

'Dear cute brunette in the black designer frames and wool sweater,

'Did we have something going on at the Walmart on [address deleted]? I had passed you while going to electronics the first time and you looked at my face, and then you did the thing that most guys normally do, that is look down and check the package.

‘Were you looking at my Droid which I had holstered, or was it something else? Like my watch, perhaps? Or something more central? Just letting you know that I caught you looking!

‘A few minutes later, I came back to frozen foods because I forgot to get something. And when that box of indeterminate-ness (I forget what it was because all I could think about was you) dropped from the shelf, it was entirely by accident, but my subconscious may have had something to do with it. I leaned over to pick it up, but as I don’t have eyes in the back of my head, I couldn’t tell if you were checking me out again. If you did sneak another peek, did you like what you see?

‘If perchance, you were thinking, “wtf is this douchebag doing in a white tee and hoodie with pulled-up sleeves with some brick hanging off his right hip,” then please ignore this message.

‘Otherwise, call me at (832) 555-2134*. It’s a Houston area code, but I’m all Dallas, baby.’
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I’m almost tempted to post this on missed connections via craigslist. As you might know from wasting time reading the posts, they're not all entirely serious, like this one, where the poster writes

You live 3rd Floor at Seville Lofts, Uptown/Oaklawn. Saturday Jan 23 around 3:30-5pm, I saw you blowing someone then he [expletive deleted] you for about an hour. You were right in front of your window, patio door and on your couch the entire time. Thanks for the great show! Tell me something about what happened. I'd love to watch you two go at it again.

I googled Seville Lofts, and it's not that far away (I'm hoping the 'm4m'** in the title was a typo). Then I realized I have internet... and I searched for ways not to be a creepy (and possibly gay) stalker.

And about the white tee and hoodie, in my defense, the Redbox finally had Inglourious Basterds and Burn after Reading in stock, so I had to haul ass to get there before someone else got it. Inglourious Basterds was amazing. I absolutely love Quentin Tarantino, but not in a m4m kind of way. In contrast, I love Melanie Laurent in every kind of way possible. I must learn French!

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*a real number, just not my number.
**man for man