Flirtation Success?

Flirters Anonymous,

My current view on relationships is reflected by my Facebook profile:

Relationship status: [blank]

Interested in: women

Looking for: [blank]

Though I joke about how attractive women should look me up and prey on me before I get any better, I am simply not looking for anything right now. That's pretty blasphemous, considering the propaganda and brainwashing, thought-purging stuff that the powder-plastered men and women on TV and magazines purport to be happiness. I think it's okay to be alone for a short period of time (or even an extended period) while you recollect yourself and organize your thoughts. People are dissuaded from pursuing rebound relationships for that very reason; you just need time for yourself after any major change.

I haven't broken up with anyone, but I've recently underwent a life-changing event: I saved lots of money by switching to Geico...jk. I stopped doing everything that my parents told me to do (that is go become a medical doctor to redeem Dad's mistakes). Such a dynamic shift from years and years of indentured servitude (or slavery) requires at least a few months of reflection. Plus, I don't want to go from one state of bondage to another state (ie, being dominated by a woman's whims and wiles).

But that doesn't mean that I'm not going to develop my flirtation skills for when the time comes to update my Facebook profile. So a couple of days ago I was at the Houston Galleria with a few friends just to hang out like mall rats. One thing I really enjoy about the Dallas Galleria vs the Houston Galleria is that Dallas's is significantly smaller with the same anchor stores (I can do without all the fem boutiques). Also, the traffic around the area is not as bad; the Westheimer area is absolutely atrocious! Dallas +2.

In case you were thinking about going to the Bailey Banks & Biddle in the Houston Galleria because of my post, I would recommend against it. They've liquidated their good inventory, and the salespeople there are pretentious asses. I walked in there, did a couple of loops around the watch counters and didn't even get a single greeting; this is the 'subtle prejudice' I'm talking about in my profile. It feels like I have to be 'fresh dressed like a million bucks' to get any recognition, while some 20 year-old in a fitted Abercrombie and ball cap can get instant attention because of what his parents make. Prejudice is as ubiquitous as iPods.

After a little more window shopping and another greeting-less entry at another jewelry store, we decided to get some ice cream at Marble Slab. There was a cute girl behind the counter scooping up the ice cream. After my friends ordered, I got myself a couple scoops of vanilla in a white chocolate dipped cone (boring choice, but I simply love classics). I gave her my plastic, beamed a smile and strategically positioned the 12 diamonds in my Gucci watch to blind her. She just smiled back. Success! Success?

My friends did a little good-natured ribbing. 'I think that girl liked you. Did she give you a special discount? An extra mixin' for free?'

I just laughed. It was just her being nice, but it was enough; it's nice to be nice. And if I had been in the right state of mind, I would have more likely asked for her cell number than the numbers of any of the haughty debutantes prancing around on daddy's checkbook. At least I know this girl works for a living.

A smile goes a very long way. You open up so many doors, and you can diffuse a lot of bad situations too, like when the customer's prescription won't go through insurance. There's an old, trite expression that goes, 'Fake it til you make it.' Being nice is the same way: even if you're not a nauseatingly nice person to begin with, by forcing yourself to smile to each customer, you will eventually improve your outlook on life.

Plus cute guys/gals will flirt with you more.