Dear Romo wannabes,
A couple of years ago, I was at a wedding for a daughter of one of Mama's friends. It wasn't anything remarkable; it was a typical Viet wedding in most respects, including the obligatory bottle of cognac. The bride and groom were Buddhist, so there wasn't a church ceremony (not that I would have attended had there been one).
During the reception, one of the guests made a comment which I'll always remember.
'Weddings always make me sad. It means that there is one less woman in the world for me.'
Although it was an intelligent wisecrack, the gravity and beauty of it was compromised by the fact that the guy happened to be the bride's brother. And if he had meant what he said, it would be a bit icky to say the least.
Well friends, today is a very sad day for me. I report that some lucky guy named Mike Fisher, a hockey player from Ottawa, has proposed to Carrie Underwood, and she has accepted. It is a black mark in what would otherwise be a joyous Holiday season. I think I may have to buy myself another watch to get me out of my dysphoric anguish. Why, Carrie, why? Tai sao (Viet for 'why')!
I've never been much of a Carrie fan until I heard the single Cowboy Casanova from her new album Play On. It has a real catchy tune and in my tamer dreams, I envision myself to be that cowboy Casanova, even if I don't have blue eyes (I can always get colored contact lenses). I liked the fact that in Cowboy Casanova she doesn't say what she'd do to 'suped up 4-wheel drives' or what she'd carve into 'legacies' (leather seats). Not that I'd have anything to worry about since I'm still balling in a dinged up '03 Corolla for the time being. I hope Tony Romo's ride is doing okay (was the car-hate song before or after their relationship?).
I think it is easy for people to idealize celebrities. They're beautiful on the surface, and the media digs a little bit to get you some feel-good stories about their personalities while they're snooping around for the trash. And you know you probably have a hydrocodone tablets's chance in an opiod-addict's medicine cabinet (my version of a snowball's chance in hell) of getting with them. So it's easy to say you have a thing for Carrie Underwood, Marisa Miller, Jessica Alba and the like (or Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Ryan Phillippe for the gals) and then just forget about them until you gawk over the latest red carpet photos or Maxim spreads.
But with women in day to day life, the ones I might have a chance with, I dismiss them rather offhand without a much thought. Like the cute blonde with blue eyes in the Arkansas hoodie (I'll forgive her choice of schools) who was walking around the OTC section of the pharmacy counter. I made up some BS in my head about how it would be frowned upon to hit on customers (one sitting through the sexual harassment seminar at orientation was enough). And that was that. Now a few hours later, I sit thinking about how big of a coward I am.
I'm still pretty nervous about the company policy thing, so I guess I'll have to get out more and be braver. Plus I have a leg up on other guys since I can always resort to using the I'm a doctor line. That's bound to get some digits, right?
Guys, what are your patented pick-up lines? Girls, do you think pick-up lines are cheesy? Do you really go for pick-up lines anyway, or is it only with guys who you would have gone out with in the first place no matter what they had said?
No comments:
Post a Comment