The Finality of Glued Wooden Dowels

One day, I want to have a nice house in the country 'burbs where I lounge about in the sunshine with a cool glass of sweetened iced tea (with real sugar) while I smile lazily at my good fortune for having such a beautiful wife and a beautiful life all paid for by writing. Until then, I'll toil away in almost sub-arctic temperatures (it's only supposed to get to 40 F today) hammering away at the keyboard. And also, as of late and much to the annoyance of the elderly lady downstairs, I've been hammering away at wooden dowels. No, that's not some weird metaphor for sex; it's the wooden dowels you find in IKEA-like do-it-yourself furniture.

Overstock.com has amazing deals on furniture, stuff that is respectable and will last for a good year or two (unlike IKEA, which may last a month or two). I kid, but the furniture I've recently bought have been top notch. Looking at the pieces, I feel my abode has dramatically improved, quite on its way to those male bachelor pads you see on chick-flicks like He's Just Not that Into You or I Love You Man (I swear Redbox didn't have anything I wanted to see!).

Assembling furniture is really awesome when the pieces fit together. When that last little cam lock twists into place, the feeling is like when you answer that last question on a test. Click. The disquieting thing about this kind of furniture is when they don't fit. And even if it hasn't happened to you, that little golden oval sticker 'made in China' doesn't inspire confidence in that it will all work out in the end. And then if the piece has wooden dowels that you have to glue, then it becomes a little more upsetting, because if it doesn't fit all the way correct, then you can't take it apart and fix it because they're glued together. The anxiety is almost enough to warrant a prescription for Xanax.

But that last little piece did slide into place. I almost felt like serenading those bits of wood with e.e. cummings's she being Brand-new but I thought better of it. Although the lady downstairs put up with my hammering, I doubt anyone can put up with the cacophony of the noise coming from my mouth as I try to recite poetry.