The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

The prodigiously prodigal blogger returns!

This time, he has forced himself to write at least one post of explanation before pretending that the long absence hasn't happened. Boyfriends who are okay boyfriends (based on the fact that they're still boyfriends) frequently ignore their girlfriends. So who am I to question this logic? Distance--and silence--make the heart grow fonder as the drivel goes. Oh how I love the silent treatment when Sportscenter is on! DUH da DUH, DUH da DUH!*

Posts will continue more or less sporadically, though it is unlikely that readers still check for new posts on a daily basis (and have resorted to the Feedburner link which I am not sure still works).

So the explanation? 1) Better things to do, 2) sloth, 3) increased reliance on smartphone and less on actual PC and 4) less instances of being drunk. You can't imagine the number of almost drunk posts that I've had the wherewithal to coitus interruptus to prevent their existence. I'd say one out of every 4 drunk posts slips through. The truly drunk ones don't have their time-stamps doctored. (the previous is mostly facetious).

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I thought tablets (iPads et al) were stupid. I realize now that they do fill in the void between the smartphone and full-fledged PC/Mac. An instant-on device with sizable real estate was a largely undiscovered niche that needed filling**. But a tablet would have the same effect on my blogging as those silly ab-belts would have my my one-pack. Web-surfing would be helluva more enjoyable though.

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Sloth. Lazy. Done.

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Better things to do? Highly debatable. I finished all 120 episodes of Lost; about 5-10 anime series (about 24-26 25-min episodes each); thought about working out; read zero books; platinum trophy'd Tiger Woods 11, Resident Evil 5, Heavy Rain, Infamous, God of War 1 & 2; thought more about working out; had GOW 3 but thought platinum-ing it would count as a sign of impending gaming addiction; actually started working out again; picked up golf again; cursed golf's very existence; liked golf; hated golf, repeat; and really got into working out again.

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Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul is a comedic-mystery novel by Douglas Adams, probably one of my favorite authors. He may not be as deep as those literary figureheads, but I'd like to think it was because he was too light-hearted and self-conscious to express his inner Fitzgerald (one of my other favorite authors***). You may know Adams more from the Hitchhiker's Guide, but the Dirk Gently series is more satisfying plot-wise: each novel is complete in and of itself.

The title of the book suggests a somber story ("dark") coupled with reflection ("of the soul") set in a rather drawn-out ("long") English afternoon ritual ("tea-time"). And it is. And it isn't.

And so this little absence of mine is a long, dark tea-time of my soul. It is what it sounds like, but then it isn't what it sounds like.

The story of such events (if I can find the motivation to blog about it) may be 1) silly, 2) stupid, 3) enlightening, 4) humorous, 5) all of the above, or 6) a grand waste of time. Hope it will be 5, but it will probably be 6.

-g

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*Some people leave on CNN/news while doing stuff around the house. I leave on Sportscenter. Much less depressing.

**A less refined blogger would exploit this easy double entendre. I will merely point to its existence.

***My literary taste has lost some of its diversity as of late, but Fitzgerald is a fine if common choice.