Handwritten Menus

Dear plastic users,

One of my favorite things to do in life is eat. It shows, unfortunately--my metabolism and exercise habit (or lack thereof) haven't kept pace with my increasing tendency to try out new places. Thankfully, my food choices in the early morning (after getting off work) is limited to IHOP/Denny's/Jack-in-the-Box/Whataburger type fare, and I've gotten plenty tired and instead chow down on whole wheat turkey sandwiches (sans mayo), and plenty of fruit. Healthy food is bleh--Lipitor will be generic when I get older, and Viagra will be too (did you know CV diseases increase risk for a malfunctioning jimmy?)

So after getting disgusted of the turkey & cardboard, I googled for some good breakfast places a few days ago and found one I really wanted to try. However, it was only open Wed-Sat, 5:30a-1p. What? So I had to wait :(.

El Pico de Gallo, 609 E Rio Grande, Victoria, TX, 77901

Of 31 folks on Urban Spoon, 90% like it. The 31 responses is a pretty good indicator of the popularity, since I've found that people don't review restaurants much in smaller cities/towns.

I totally missed it the first time I tried to look for it, and it was closed the second time I passed by (after Sunday mass). But I'm not one of those crazy people who wait night and day to see Eclipse (how is pasty Robert Pattinson attractive, or are the girls just envious of how he gets his hair to stay that way?) or get the new iPhone 4 (my Asian card should be revoked!).

I waited until I had that itch in the stomach which can only be scratched with something greasy and/or spicy, preferably both.

The place was tiny, and I nearly missed it again even when I knew exactly where it was. The 10-car parking lot was packed, and the 4 tables in the place were all occupied. I ordered the 'Pico Special' because I'm one of those who like to order the signature dish of the place, and not insist on ordering the same damn thing at every place (like people always getting the barbecued pork banh mi at every Viet sandwich shop). And since I'm not a terribly picky eater, I've never gone wrong with the signature dish and today was no different.

The Pico Special was a 'taquito' (there was nothing small about it!*) with an amalgam of chorizo, chili, potato, and deliciousness wrapped in a thick, warm flour tortilla that melts when you bite into it. The provided 'pico cup' added a freshness of tomato, onion, and lime to the tasty filling.

It was great, and I'll definitely go there again.
--

When I was there, I noticed a sign saying 'No Credit or Debit Cards', which got me to thinking about the indications of a good hole-in-the-wall place:

1) Cash only. Vendors pay a few percentage points for each transaction, and it can really cut into profits. Plus, cash is always easier to deal with, except if you're an airline. And it's nice to help Mom & Pop stick it to the IRS.

One time in New Orleans, I was about to make a grand gesture by taking care of my group's meal at Cafe Du Monde, but it was a cash-only place and I had spent all of mine on strippers**. Fail.

2) Handwritten signs. The people care about food, not graphic design.

3) Lack of waitstaff. Less people to pay, less overhead, cheaper prices, more focus on a solid menu.

4) Diverse clientele. When you have people in work boots with paint stains along with folks in suits, then you know the food is good. Douchey college know-it-alls and 5-0 are also good signs.

5) Tiny, pot-holed, un-lined parking lots. Don't bring your dropped S5 on dubs.

My favorite hole-in-the-wall is most definitely Thiem Hung Sandwich shop in downtown/midtown Houston, across the street from the Kim Son. You can read the other reviewers' recommendations, all of which are spot on. My favorite is the large banh mi thap cam, which is a combination of all the ingredients. I'm addicted to the greasy, juicy pate (chopped liver); the influx of French cuisine almost makes up for their major rape-age of Indochina.

--
*Please excuse the double entendre
**And 80-proof booze, which I bought at a pharmacy (Nawlins is amazing!)