Whoa whoa whoa...

Take it easy…

First off, I hate censoring people. I hate censoring myself, but there’s stuff you don’t want people to read about you (stuff like how I think Leprechauns are real and that if I find one, I would trick it to show me where its pot of gold is so I’d never have to work). Whoever seen the leprechaun say yea!

I am a non-confrontational kind of person, and when I see or hear gunfire, I instinctively run the other way. That’s what real people from the ghetto do. So if there’s a squabble, I like to get as far away as possible, get some popcorn, pull up a chair at a safe distance and enjoy. But as this fight has broken out in my own house (aka blog), I have to respond. On a sidenote, don’t let people get plastered in your own house (thank you to all the people who have cleaned up after me! I owe you one!).

The one lesson I’ve learned as a retail pharmacist is that getting angry with people does absolutely nothing to help with a situation. You only irritate them more and you expend a lot of energy by having to quell your emotions after the confrontation. Don’t do it. Step back, breathe, and relax. There’s absolutely nothing anyone can do to you that will hurt you if you don’t let it affect you. Take their weapons away from them, and they will have nothing with which to fight. Some lady called me ‘withholding’ because I wouldn’t let her touch the tablets, another guy said I didn’t do my ‘due diligence’ because I neglected to process his discount card, a third called me ‘racist’ because I didn’t ring up her OTC med immediately because I was busy with hospice prescriptions. Whatever. Go on and brush your shoulders off.

A battle not fought is a victory won.

So to directly address the situation: did eggs’ comments affect me? Sure, but I have built my foundation upon my own self belief, that what I do and write is my true self (excluding stuff that would be TMI). And though that true self may be narcissistic, prejudicial, superficial, and arrogant, it is also humorous, light-hearted, deep-hearted, middle-hearted, and educational. Though I do not know if I am ‘good’ (or if human beings can be ‘good’ or if there is such a thing as ‘good’), I try to be ‘good’. Therefore, when anyone makes ‘attacks’ on my character, whether real or imagined, I have confidence in my attempted goodness. Thus, nothing anyone can say or do will have power over me (up to a limit, of course).

Upon this rock of my self-worth, I have built the temple of my mind.

So I shrugged off the ego-deflating comments. I cannot control others’ thoughts; I can only control my response to them. And when the comment feud broke out, I found it insanely comical because it was a (relatively) unnecessary fight.

But since peoples’ feelings have been hurt, and I foresee some escalation, I’m going to end it. I don’t trust that people have my prodigious fortitude (don’t you dare make a comment about my weight!) to deflect criticism. Because after all, we all know that I’m pretty much a big deal. :)

So keep enjoying my blog. Keep commenting on what you like or what can be improved. Posts are also forwarded as boxes on my FB page, so you can just hit the ‘LIKE’ button there. After all, I live off of comments because I am a narcissist, but do keep them positive or playfully insulting. Anything else will be removed. Call me an idiot but do it with a smile and temper it with something like how my tie has the most perfect dimple and drops exactly to mid-belt buckle or how you’d have to sue me for retinal damage because my Gucci is so sparkly.

Life is too short to live it angrily. If anything I say comes off as vaguely insulting, understand that I do it with a smile, and that I aim to offend everyone equally and myself especially. After all, the story of blonde 9.7 was not my proudest moment, but I shared it with you all (and you must admit that it was a pretty funny story at my expense).

People should die with stupid grins on their faces. That’s how I want to go, facilitated with loads of friends (and morphine). It’s a celebration! Enjoy yourself.
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On second thought, this isn’t Cuba or China. There is free speech after all, and you can do whatever you like (insofar as it is what I like). But as Catch-22 says, I have the right to do anything you can't stop me from doing. I am a delightful tyrant, but still a tyrant in the tradition of Nero (except without all that in-bred perversion), and this blog is my despotic realm.

So keep it above the belt or you’ll find your comment trashed. And don’t recruit people in your fights. Agreed?